THOSE POOR BASTARDS

Those Poor Bastards is a gothic country duo formed in Madison Wisconsin that have been making music since 2004. The two members are Lonesome Wyatt, who does the guitar and vocals, and The Minister, who plays the banjo, percussion, fiddle, and anything else. Not much is known about the two since they like to keep very private, espically The Minister, who is only seen wearing a black veil and a hat, and doesn't talk in interviews.

THEIR SIGNIFICANCE TO ME

I first heard about them in around 2020. My friend suggested them to me, and that night I listened to The Plague and Satan is Watching. I really really really digged it. I put a bunch of songs on my main playlist and that was that. Flash foward a year or so later and I randomly decided to check out their entire discography. And that's when it Hit. OH my goodness.
The Sound. The Subject matter. The instruments. The vocals. The melodies. Everything is just perfect. I don't think I've heard anything like it and I don't think I ever will. Their music perfectly, and I mean PERFECTLY fits the imagery and vibes(??) in my head. I really cannot put it into words. The way it is all gritty, with heavy religous themes as well as a lot of dirty and baige country/farm imagery. The way Wyatt can sing both beautifully and fry his vocal cords. The way the percussion hits, the banjo and the guitar... i JUST do not know how to word it without sounding lame and corny. I can smell it too, its almost a brothy chicken smell. It reminds me of my "mind village", a place that randomly appears in my head since i was little. I don't know what this place is, but I know too much about it. And it sounds Exactly how Those Poor Bastards does. It's incredible. And don't get me started on the lyrics themselves. I fuckin LOVEEE religous stuff,espically the creepy n horror aspects. God do they deliver. There's also less gothic songs and those are wonderful too. It is very hard for me to dislike a TPB song. My favourite songs, if I had to pick some, are Mysterious Things, Sick Sick, Kingdom of Lucifer, You Belong to Me, John Henry's Gonna, Chemical Church, My Pagan Moon.... and so on. God they are all just so good. I dont know how they can come up with such earworms so frequently. I want to animate every TPB song ever. like dude . Their songs just are so. So. I need to show my appreciation somehow. I am always kind of relucant animating their songs though, I am big and greedy and don't want more eyes on them. Plus iirc Wyatt said they perfer to be a bit more underground. IDK tho. I will recommend them to anyone. I still feel weird calling them "country". It's defiantly not what you think of when you think country.

This band and their music has endlessly inspired me. It keeps me gosing. I don't know wheer I'd be without them. Even with this dedicated page, I don't think I could properly express just how Impactful TPB to me.

Also, as a bonus, I am born and raised Wisconsin. Madison is only like 2 hours away from me. That's so cool... They could be Anywhere. Plus merch arrives pretty quickly lmao

FANART

Here is some fanart I've made over the years. I'll probably occasionaly update here and there.Theres a lot of Minister because I think hes super cool and aura-ful and also i feel like i do Wyatt's face dirty a lot LOL

SOME PICS I LIKE

Just a small note if anyone looks into their stuff: I SEE Wyatt occassionaly using AI for marketing and an album cover for his other project, Lonesome Wyatt and the Holy Spooks. I am just Praying its cuz hes just an old fart and doesnt know the bad shit about ai. Pleeeassse Wyatt i dont want my goat to be washed :(